week one: ldr facts&stats

on occasion, you can look back and see the things in your story that work like foreshadowing. in 2006, i had just been accepted into the tulsa world newspaper's "satellite" program, a weekly section by, for, and about high schoolers. my very first assignment was to illustrate a story on long distance relationships. here, in all its newsprint glory: my journalistic debut.

fast forward to 2013 and this topic has become important enough to me that i wanted to devote my degree project to it. 

i've been doing lots of research and interviews, but i thought it might be best to start with some basics!

also, a quick note: i've started using the acronym "ldr," which is a bit obnoxious, but not as much as repeatedly typing out all three words. it'll show up in this blog probably a lot from now on, so watch out!

let's dive in.

the primary source cited by ldr statistics is the research of dr. gregory guldner, the head of the center for the study of long distance relationships. this research comes from 2005. as we can easily see how well communication technology has improved in the past eight years, we can very reasonably assume that these numbers are more favorable today than they were when first counted! 

keeping that in mind, these numbers are still informative, if perhaps a little shy.

around 2.9% of marriages in the united states are considered long distance, with another 1 in 10 marriages that experienced a distance within their first three years.

this means that 3.5 million people were married at a distance in 2005, which says nothing of the 4.5 million college students who maintain non-marital distanced relationships.

i want to have an estimate as to how many military ldrs there are, but so far i've not been able to find one.

the likelihood of a long distance breakup has been found not to differ considerably from geographically close couples, once variables like age had been accounted for, although if a long distance relationship is likely to fail, it usually happens within the first four to five months. dr. guldner found that 70% of couples who didn't establish a game-plan for managing changes and expectations broke up within six months.

a survey of 200 couples found that the average couple was 125 miles apart, visited 1.5 times a month, called once every two days and talked for 30 minutes, and sent 3 letters a month. the average couple expects to wait 14 months before they can close the distance.

little riot's design for "pillow talk" connects distant lovers' heartbeats through their pillows.

another study surveyed 450 southeastern university students. 20% of them were currently in ldrs, while another 17% had been in an ldr. 11% of ldr respondents saw their partners weekly, while 16% never got to see them during school. over 50% of ldr students emailed daily and spoke on the phone several times a week. 

it's a very commonly held and often repeated belief that long distance relationships don't work, and aren't sustainable or worth the trouble. i think these numbers help to provide the background of how common ldrs are, and how those involved manage. the quickest of googles can reveal hundreds of websites, apps, and services that offer ways for couples to connect with each other and share.


redefining a romantic valentine's day through distance.

what these numbers can't address, though, and what the apps often don't get into, is how people spend the time they can't spend on their webcam, and how that "gameplan" (or relationship model) that makes successful ldrs work gets formulated. it's not something we're explicitly taught how to negotiate, but can be learned through our own experiences and the shared experiences of others in similar circumstances. 

my point here is: 

i want to design a platform for connecting people who are in, about to start, or ending their long distance relationships with others who have had that experience or are going through it at the same time. it is my hope that such a system would help people get the support they need to feel strong and knowledgable in how they establish and maintain their ldr, and can be there for people when they feel like they need "backup," allowing for people to connect and soothe over situations, fears, and insecurities, and celebrate success with a group who understands what it means.